Friday, March 1, 2013

Posted. Man I am posted...

Alright blog, it has been a while. I don't remember where I left off but I can say that things have changed since that time. I'm still here. Kinda. I'm still doing some stuff that I was doing when I last wrote here, but some things have changed. And I'm glad of that, cause it would be rather bland if they hadn't.

I mean I have, like over a hundred followers, who are mostly here for pictures of barely clothed men, but they're still here. Here, for you.

Isn't he cute!
If you like him, go to my tumblr. It's where I've been spending most of my time. Be warned, it's dirty. But no one really writes on Tumblr. It's far too visual to allow more than a paragraph. That would detract from all the pretty pictures. I was craving a good written purge and decided I should come back. So back to business.

I've been adrift for a little bit, working here and there, doing this and that, haven't had a solid job in about six months. It feels odd sometimes, but all of my old body issues related to serving are slowly working themselves out. That's really nice. But I still feel adrift. I don't have a schedule. I mean I work little customer service gigs here and there, and I get acting work occasionally, and I'm now training some people but it's not enough to make up anything regular. So I drift...
I've been thinking I need to get a home base for the training, it would make things a bit easier, have people come to me and allow me to "go to work" per se. I have yet to find such a place though, I need to do some investigating. Mark that on my to do list.
I have also thought about getting a modeling agent. I have this body now that would allow me to do some of that stuff, and make a little money while I'm at it. I think it could be fun.
I just got some headshots done, yesterday in fact (big week this week). It's something I haven't done in years, and it was time. A bit of a new start with the new body, and relatively new agents, and being single. It was time to show the casting agents what I look like now and what I can do now. Much different from what I was capable of in my old headshots.

I feel like I'm rambling. Much has happened and I feel the need to get it out.

What else... I'm submitting myself for more auditions. Including lots more theatre and student films. I haven't done anything significant in a couple years so I really need the practice. Doing play readings in friends homes, acting class and commercials don't really count. I need a play or a film where I have more than three lines. Hell more than TEN lines! I need to stretch and make the muscle do a marathon when it's only been sprinting. I'm starting to think that's all I can do and that ain't good. I want to do something big. More like need to. Mark that on the to do list as well.

I also had something come to an end this week. Which sucked, but it was for the best.

Life is funny. You set out to create something thinking that it's going to be amazing and nothing is going to stand in your way, everything will come together like magic. But in the end it looks like you used a half rate glue gun to stick the ass end of a horse to the front end of a duck while signing the national anthem, and you don't even know sign language. Well it starts out great, you're so enthusiastic and everyone feeds off your energy. Then something small happens and you notice it and think nothing of it, but remember it when something bigger happens and that triggers something else which makes the second thing look like the first in size and it all goes awry from there. It happens, and it can be shitty, but when the alternative is even shittier, you understand that letting it fall apart is the better thing. And life goes on. More projects with the lessons learned from the last one.

Here, another one for you guys who have stuck around to read my ramblings.

Adorable.

Ah but there is a big thing missing from this life of mine and that is the L word. Yes, Lesbians. I need to fall in Lesbians. You think they know any good trust exercises? But seriously, I dated a guy for six years! I have been without lurve for almost two years now, and man, that shit is addictive! I miss that shit. I mean look at that guy above, you know he would bring you chocolates and act like a goof with that stuffed monkey and love cuddling in bed before you fall asleep in each others arms... sigh. Yeah being single has it's perks, but man, love... that is where it's at. And I know I'm saying that because I'm single, cause there are all kinds of things that come with that L word that you forget when you are in the throws of a new romance. As you should, cause the beginning of a relationship is awesome and crazy and hot. But for now, I miss it. I know I'm going to find it again, but right now, I wouldn't mind a little cuddling before bed.

And with that, I am updated. I will bid you all adieu. For now. I should be back here with a little more regularity. But I promise nothing.

Xoxo

7 comments:

Sean said...

Nice to see a post from you. Good luck with all your ventures and do keep us posted as you can!

Buddy Bear said...

It's great to hear from you ... yes, that was a rambling post indeed but very interesting!

I loved the glue gun/horse /duck/national anthem comment. I've never heard any express things so ... er.. colourfully as you do.

Sexy Beast said...

Thanks Guys! It was nice to post something. I think I'll post a little more regularly. I feel the need to write things out. Helps sort things out in my head a bit more than posting pictures on tumblr.

me said...

Good for you for getting back on the blog horse!
Everything you are saying rings true... and it is good to share it because we all go through these type of things some time or another and it will remind your readers that they aren't alone in their struggles no matter how big or small <3
And I hear ya on the lurve front... it's special
xo

me said...

BTW - the dude with the monkey? yes. SUPER FUCKIN CUTE

mike said...

i guess welcome back is the proper thing to say...

Sexy Beast said...

Thanks Guys, nice to read. :-)